So, now I feel bad. Why bad??? He actually sounds like he still might want the m, so why do I feel bad? 1. b/c I still feel like he blames me for EVERYTHING-including his actions, statements, how he treats me. 2. b/c I don't think he is willing to own up to any of his issues. 3. I am afraid to trust him. 4. I think he has been verbally abusive 5. He keeps bringing up the past and can't seem to let me live it down. 6. He won't go to mc 7. I feel like I am constantly jumping through hoops to earn his approval. 8. I fear b/c whenever we have an "argument," he says he is done and wants a d.
Does this make sense? I know the DB way is to accept the blame and do whatever it takes to get a better response from our spouse, but...what about dignity and self-respect? How much mistreatment can one take?
P.S. No, I was not implying that H was pushing my buttons and that I wish he would stop. Well, I guess I do wish he would stop, but I was referring to my own inability to respond rather than to react. I wish I didn't get emo over stuff, but sometimes it is automatic. I am talking to a C about this.
Also, Sage, I don't get the shirt analogy. If he doesn't want the shirt and doesn't like the shirt, then why would the shirt want to be kept (should it have feelings)?
I KNOW I am a good person and good wife who messes up and has messed up. But, how long do I have to PAY for my mistakes? Quite honestly, I am very tired of it. I think I deserve to be treated nicely b/c I am v nice!
