H came into my room to ask me how the job search was going. I asked if he was moving up the "deadline" again. I moved the convo. to the living room b/c i like to feel safe in my own room and not like it is a battle zone. Believe it or not, H actually apologized to me for his comment being misconstrued. After this, we had a good talk. (This was Sunday the 6th.) He told me that some of his friends ask if we have gotten back together. I asked him why he didn't say this to me when it happened and that all he has ever told me re: co-workers and friends that: a. he discussed d w/a co-w that has been d twice, b. his boss is trying to hook him up, and c. that his friends all say that they would have left a long time ago. How am I to know that he ever says anything + if he only tells me the -? Then we and told each other that we are very much in love with each other. No resolve or anything, so I went back to being sep. Remember last time, I started staying in our bed again and he freaked b/c he didn't want me to think that "this was going somewhere he wasn't sure if he wanted"?

This morning I told him I would probably go move in with a friend, then get my own apt. when i can. We started talking again. It sounded like it was "as if" talking as in as if we would continue working on our m. He still blames for um...about everything. He says his mistreatment of me has been due to how I abused him in the past and that I just haven't been patient enough for him to get over it, so that he can then treat me better. I asked, "don't you think some of the things that you have done have been abusive?" and he said, no, not at all, but maybe "uncool." UM...I don't think so.