H ignored me Thursday, then last night he came into my room and told me that he couldn't believe that I didn't know he was kidding when he made that comment and that living together still was not working, and that he wants me out of the house as soon as possible. I started to ask how the comment was supposed to be funny and he put is hand up as in he didn't want to hear it. Then I said, "you know you only talk sh!t about me..." and he said he didn't care. I told him that I wanted to keep the house if possible and that if he wanted out, then he should leave. He said that I need to be financially independent in order for him to do that, that he is not letting me jeopardize his credit and that I had until the first of the year to figure something out.
The sad thing is that he really makes me doubt myself and my feelings, but then I think, "if he cared about my feelings, he would tell me he was joking, or that he didn't mean it in a negative way, or anything to not let me feel hurt."
I am not so afraid of not finding someone else, but I feel very committed and I like the idea of being married. Obviously, I cannot make him care about me or want to work things out, or go to MC.
I wish to God that I would quit reacting to him emotionally, but at times, I get caught so off-guard. Here I was thinking I was being nice and doing him a favor, only to feel like I was splashed cold water on my face. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond. I am sad and angry and scared, yet I know that I deserve better than this, and that the Babe in Total Control of Herself would have left a long time ago.
