I am starting a new thread with my new goals... Pam, can you help me link them??? Pretty please???
I have been feeling irritated about H not doing much housework. A few months ago he expressed not wanting to mow all of the lawn all of the time since it was me who wanted the yard for my doggies. So, I agreed to do the lawn mowing. One weekend he decided that we needed to get some house projects done and wanted our house to be neater, so he refused to go to a picnic with me and stayed home to work on patching foundation. He used to do most of the laundry, some dishes. I clean bathroom all the time and clean the kitchen floor, clean our room, etc. I've been trying to weed our flower beds and line it with rocks, but I am the worst gardener. I haven't planted anything.
Now that we are "separated," he has quit doing any of my laundry, and is letting some things pile up on the counter, etc. This morning I washed only my dishes. I hate to be petty, but I don't have time to do everything myself. I even washed some of his clothes b/c to me it is stupid to wash a few things of my own and use up all that water and soap.
We had talked about me keeping the house if we D, but I don't think I will be able to even with a new job. I thought I could go out and earn a lot more money, but I think I was kidding myself! So, if we sell it, we need to finish our living room which we started 2 or 3 years ago???
So, do I say anything, or just keep on doing what I am doing? Since, my goal is not to NEED anything or WANT anything...
He is going to fix my truck this week I THINK. So, that is helpful, and he is paying all utility bills now and mortgage. So, does he think that since he is paying all this stuff, that I should do more housework?? Maybe I'm just getting mad for the sake of getting mad. I don't know. He only works 4 days a week, a little less than 40 hours, and it seems like all he does on his days off is play with his RC cars-shopping for new pieces-parts, putting it together, writing on a BB about how to make the car go better, etc. Grrr....
GOALS: 1. Make money and find a new full-time job. (I am waitressing, paying my own bills, and have an interview tomorrow!)
2. Clean basement, clean my room/closets and get rid of a bunch of JUNK and old clothes. (All in progress, just have to finish!) Work on living room and dogpen. Keep my truck clean, etc.
3. Keep up my life-go out with friends, walk dogs, work on crafts, climb, do other exercise, etc.
4. Take care of my own emotional needs. Don't rely on H for much of anything. (He maintains that he is incapable of giving much emotionally b/c he is still trying to get over past hurts). So, I do this by hanging out with my friends, reading self-help books, and...I'm trying to get myself to church, but it doesn't happen!
5. Be warm, friendly and receptive to H. When he talks to me about feelings, I am being very open and understanding, not getting defensive, listening to him and validating him. When he initiates ML or refers to me having other boyfriends, I am v reassuring and complimentary to him.
