Well H came back to the house on Tuesday night and had fixed his Alternator so car was all O.K. again. He mowed the front lawn for me whilst I cooked tea and did washing. He then went out the back and burnt off some tree branches as well. We had tea, had a game of pool and a drink together down in the back room. He then asked me to give him a massage, which I did and we then put S9 to bed. We started watching a DVD and I was rubbing H's head and he fell asleep. After about 15mins I woke him up and he said he was tired and was going to bed. We went to bed and H was asleep within 10mins.
The next morning we all had showers and got ready for school and work and he was constantly asking if he could help me. I said No not really we have a pretty good routine but you could hang out the washing I did earlier this morning. Which he did. We then both went off to work as he was working for me.
It was a nice night and felt pretty much like old times. There was a little bit of feeling uncomfortable as neither of us wanted to just persume anything but all in all a good night.
After work he came back home and got all his gear together and went to gym as he was going home to stay as I had volleyball.
I rang him when I got home and he was on the phone, so I rang back a bit later and he said OW had rung him to say hello. I asked how she seemed and he said pretty good, I then moved on to other topics and let it go (which was hard but I am listening to what you are saying SH).
Anyhow this morning he is working for us again and we were having a coffee and he said that he told OW that he was trying to work things out with me and that we were trying to piece things back together. Apparently she took it rather well and then another worker turned up and he said he would tell me more tonight. He said he had clothes in the car and did I want to go to gym with him.
So it looks like we are doing that tonight. He seems to be slowly doing what I need him to do, so I guess he is starting to walk the walk.
I tell you this is not easy as in my mind I often think about OW, like has she rung, or will she just drop in when he is at his van etc etc but I am not voicing it just fretting about it in my own head. I must admit for him to say he has told her is a big relief as I was starting to think if he hadn't told her, then he could still be keeping his options open and that his heart wasn't truly in it if he wasn't honest about what he is doing but he has fixed that now so I can try and calm down a bit over that.
It is obviously going to be a lot harder than even I expected as you do wonder alot. I guess in time if things keep going well that will slowly diminish. It is still early days and I even though I have thoughts that turn into doubts in my mind I must admit I am glad I don't voice them as he keeps surprising me with what he does. Like telling OW about us....
I guess I just keep taking it one day at a time and its funny b/c a few months ago I would have just jumped straight back into our R, expecting it to go back to the same comfortable thing and now through all this DBing I realise that is impossible and unrealistic, it is a new beginning and who knows how it will work out but it is just one day at a time at the moment. I still have mixed feelings and I guess that is b/c I don't wish to be hurt again, but you know what I don't think I will go back to square one even if it doesn't work b/c I feel so much stronger now than I did a while ago. Fingers crossed and I will keep updating.
I am not ready to go to the piecing thread yet as I am not prepared to drift from all you wonderful people yet as you are truly what has helped me get through all this so far and your words of advice and encouragement mean alot to me. I also don't know what will happen yet as it is far too early to tell so maybe if it is all going well in a month I will think about posting over there but not yet.....Till next update......KDU
