Wow, a lot is going on and you are handling yourself very very well. Of course trust is going to be an issue. H betrayed you. I think that you are right to try to stay guarded right now because this does make you vulnerable again. I am going to urge you though to NOT act out on those suspicions. H is being pretty forward with you and you know enough now to know that if he isn't you will pick up on it. So when you get these thoughts...use that strength you have and DO NOT go spy or start texting a bunch to check on him. This is going to be hard. This is where you need to work on stopping the thoughts. If H catches you, it will not be for the better. He needs to feel safe and rewarded for being honest with you. Be strong here Kim. I know how hard it is, I think we all do. But somehow find it within yourself to not do it. I think you are afraid if he doesn't walk the talk you will miss it. You won't. You'll catch it. So right now, just tell yourself when you have these thoughts of wondering what he's up to, that he is making progress, he is starting to walk the walk, and he will still be vulnerable to OW some. You just have to be solid and confident and careful to not let suspicions lead your actions. Suspicions just because you haven't heard from him. This is where you have to act as if. Not just act it but think it. The time will come when he will need to sever ties and really prove to you in action. But right now, you are just at the first infancy stage of reconciliation, so just tread cautiously here. And...don't bring up OW!!!!! When you do that, you are inviting him to think about her. If he is ending an A, he's thinking about her enough as it is. You want him to think about you. Let him bring her up. I have to admit, I have done the sitting in the parking lot to check up thing. It never led to anything good and I did not feel good about it, and once you do it once, it is easier to do again. Don't get in this habit, you will get caught. Be strong. H is taking positive steps. So keep reminding yourself, and if you are tempted to spy, come here instead. Ask us if we think it's worth spying or not. Because if you get tempted to spy just cuz he didn't reply to a text, the temptation is going to come often. And I know, because I have done it. We love you Kim, and you are doing great! Now keep up your GAL and keep us all informed as we love hearing this progress...you deserve it!
