Wow. Another wild post! I guess I would just say that you need to do what you feel you need to do. So if you need to check up on him, then do it. But just be prepared that you might see something you really don't want to.
I am going to tell you what I am thinking about doing if my H decides to reconcile. I have asked him in the past to end the relationship with the OW cold turkey. Hasn't worked yet. And I don't think it will. But he can't move back home until it is completely over. But now that he is living elsewhere, he will have time to end it. And I expect him through his actions to show me he is ending it and proving to me that it is over. I'm not going to put a timeline on it but I do expect to see progress! I'm not waitng forever for him to end his A! But I do want him to come home knowing he made this choice and that he is 100% invested in working on our marriage with no outside factors. So I guess what I'm saying is that it will take longer than you like for the contact to completely end. Be prepared for that. But keep being firm in the fact that it needs to end and this is his last chance. And do validate him when he is upfront with you. That appreciation will help him get through some tough times.
I hope this helps. If not, just ignore it! But keep your chin up Kim. You are doing great!
WCB
God grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change,
To change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr
