This trusting thing is going to be very hard. I can tell you all about it but I wouldn't tell H anywhere near what I am going to tell all of you.
Yesterday H played golf in a Corporate Comp, which I believe would have done him the world of good. Away from everyone and everything and just a day out with people he doesn't really know to play golf, which he loves. He has been having some car trouble so I texted him after work and just asked how his day went and was he home yet. I got no reply this was about 6pm.
I did my kids dinner and at 7.15pm I texted again and just put I hope you are O.K. and not stranded with your car. I still got nothing.
This made me very suspicious and I wondered if OW was over there or visa versa so I decided to check it out for myself, so I would know. As I said this trust issue is difficult.
So I drove over there and parked my car out of sight and walked to his place, his car was there, all the lights were on, T.V. was on and so I just listened quietly for about 5 mins. I could hear him moving around but no voices, and her car wasn't anywhere.
I then went back to my car and rang him from my mobile. He answered on the first ring. Convo went like this...... H: Hello M: Hello you answered that quick H: Yeah b/c I was just replying to your text, when it rang M: Oh O.K. it took you long enough to reply, I was just getting concerned you may have been stuck somewhere and unable to get home. H: No nothing like that, I got home took a shower, cooked some tea and then I saw my message and I was just about to reply. M: That's fine as I said I was just making sure you weren't stranded somewhere. How did your golf day go. H: Fabulous it was a great day. M: Oh good, I think it would have done you the world of good. H: Yeah I think it did. M: So any calls today H: Yes, Kim she rang today M: Oh O.K., it doesn't really surprise me H: She rang to tell me that the boss wouldn't accept her resignation and that people at work were giving her a hard time about leaving. That was pretty much all she rang for. M: Oh and did she sound better H" Yes she did M: Does that give you some relief H: Yes it does, and if she stays like that for the next few days I will feel alot better. M: Yes I imagine you will. Look I better go as I am on my mobile and it gets expensive. H: Yeah alright, I will call in and have coffee with you at work tomorrow and I will come over tomorrow night, if that's O.K. with you. M: Yeah that should be fine, why don't you come for dinner. H: Well I wont say no to that M: O.K. I will see you tomorrow H: Yep, I am stuffed and I am going to bed real soon, so I wont text you goodnight tonight. M: No problem, sleep well H: Yep you too.
So that was that. He has no idea I was there and checking up on him and I don't intend for him to find out but it did make me feel better. That is the first time I have checked up on him but I don't know if it will be the last.
Am I wrong for doing that, I sort of feel it is a bit but trust is something that gets earnt and he broke it badly so it has to be built up again, or at least that is how I feel. Had I gone there and OW was there, I would have still gone back to my car and rang like I did, and acted as though I knew nothing and seen what he said. If he wasn't talking properly I would have said have you got a visitor and if he said yes, I would have said send me a text when she has gone. Had he not told me, I would have left it till later and then told him it was over, but this didn't happen so I guess I don't have to worry about it do I.
Tell me what you all think, is this a normal thing to do considering what has happened or am I way to suspicious. Any advice will be appreciated, I don't know why I feel guilty for doing this, maybe b/c it is not in my nature normally......
Anyhow one day at a time, will be waiting for your opinions on this.....Thanks.....KDU
