Kismet - Handled volleyball alright. We play Indoor Beach Volleyball so not so hard when you land but it is harder to move around in the sand than I remember. We have played 3 games now the first we lost and the last 2 we have won. So I think it is coming back. We call ourselves "T.O.T.S" (Too Old Too Slow) very fitting name I can tell you as I am 39.
H rang today to see about having S tonight. We worked this out and he touched a bit on us. I just said I was over it and was just concerned with working out a routine for our S. He said again that he wanted to be friends and I said "Look I don't know at the moment I don't want that as friends don't treat each other the way you have been treating me, I don't know about down the track but all I can say is you are a very different person over these last 9 months and I am worried about you b/c you have never been this self centered and uncaring towards someone else.
H said I know I have made alot of mistakes, maybe I wasn't cut out to be a family man. WTF....I said well I don't know about that but where does that leave our S. He said I really don't know at the moment. I said Look that bothers me as your S adores you and I can't believe you would think that you might distance yourself from him. H said "I know I just don't know what to think at the moment". I said Look I think you had better sit down and look at your life and what you have achieved in the last 9 months, what you achieved in our 12 years together and what you hope to achieve in the future. You worry me b/c you are so unhappy with everything and I don't think it would hurt you to see a doctor and just check if you are depressed. If you are you may find going on some tablets for a little while help to clear your head a bit and may just be what you need to start seeing things a bit clearer. H said he would think about it. I said well I think it is in your best interest to do that but again it's just a suggestion, you have to decide what to do for you. I will see you when you pick up S.
We then said our goodbyes and that was that. I am a bit worried about him as he is so up and down and unclear on what he wants and makes so little sense, but again I can offer a suggestion but I am not in control of him and he will make whatever decisions he will. I hope he is O.K. but I do not wish to give him my energy at the moment.
If he asks for help I may help I don't know but I will continue to GAL and detach as it will serve me well. Although I worry about him I have to learn to switch off a little as I have enough to take care of with the kids, the house, the animal, work and myself......
So that's my update not much really but hey that's life at the moment......
Oh and this Friday night I am going out with a group of friends, about 6 or 8 of us, which all of us have not been out together for a couple of years so I am looking forward to that. It was funny cause at Volleyball I just said to Craig, what are you doing Friday night and he said nothing why and I said Well if you are going to Fiji on Monday and don't know when you are coming back we should go out and do something, he agreed so I turned and asked my male friend Jarrod did he want to come and he said yes, then I asked my sister and she said yes and it just sort of happened all out of the blue. See what happens if you just ask.........Here's to a good night.....KDU
