H is too confusing for words

[Burgbud]

{{{{{!KDU!}}}}}

Your friendship is very very important to me but I don't think I feel anything else.

Hey doll. If you've read my thread from this morning, or if you're going to later, you'll see I'm right there with you. It really sucks when you put so much effort into something, not even knowing if it's possible for your effort to be rewarded. And when it looks like there will be no reward all that effort seems like a waste of time.

But I don't think it was a waste. The problem with the reward we're seeking is that part of it depends on another person, and we've learned a dear lesson, which is that we don't control that other person. We can't make a good decision for them, we can't even hardly help them to make the decision. But you have remained steadfast and made so much effort in the face of adversity. Many would have folded up their tent and run a long time ago. So this is the part that says something just about *you*, and what kind of person you are. No one can take this away from you. You haven't been wrong, or dumb, or fooled. You have been great. You are great and your life will be great again, even if you have to pick up the broken pieces of your heart and start letting it mend.


Oh god I have had enough, he has upset me again and put me back to square one and I am gonna have a real hard time forgiving his sorry @rse for this one.

I hear ya. Maybe we've just got to well and truly let them go right now. We can leave the door open, but I guess we've got to stop watching that door to see if they're coming in or not. Maybe they've gotta stay in the house for a week before we'll believe they're back. In the meantime we'll start healing our hearts and getting on with our lives. I'm sure we'll look over our shoulders sometimes and think about the life we wish we'd had; the life we feel we could have had. But we're gonna quit looking over our shoulders to see if the WAS is following.

BTW, I checked on airfare to Australia the other day. They want $2000 to get me there! So I'm going to start saving my pennies. And using them to buy lottery tickets. Wish me luck!