Things change and things stay the same. Friendliness has continued, but that's about it. XW has apologized more in the past 3 months (4x) than she did in our M (3x total). She now includes salutations and uses my name when greeting or saying goodbye. If it never gets to more than that, at least S6 can overhear/see his parents being civil and less tense around one another.
After a convo with him, I realized in part why S6 likes to see us both at his swim lessons/TBall games, etc... Because that is the only time in his life when he doesn't have to miss one or both of us. He explained to me before "When I'm with you, I miss Mom, and when I'm with Mom, I miss you." So when we're both there, he finally gets the dual focus that he used to enjoy routinely.
S6 was sick this week. He went to school Mon and Tue, then XW left a VM for me in the am on Wed to tell me he was too sick to go in. She was about to take him to work with her when I called and asked her to bring him to the house, as I was willing to stay home with him. It was a sizable event, as she revisited our marital home (on the last day of her R/O against me for that very location). She seemed uncomfortable, and didn't physically enter, but I was merely pleased that she didn't ask me to drive across town to meet her in a parking lot for transfer. S6 was actually pretty healthy - I think he pulled a fast one to avoid going to school by playing on her guilt. Regardless, we had fun together, and I was able to sneak in some work.
The old me was seeping in, irritated that she choose my non-teaching day to insist that he stay home from school - assuming I could afford the time when she had him attend while sicker the day before during her non-teaching day. But yesterday I just let it go, and focused on caring for and loving him well, and leaving her to be as she is.
Roughly, we're talking by phone or in person ~20min to 1hr /day right now. I'm working hard to generalize my GAL work to include being way more relaxed around. I need to care less what she thinks and to just be confident about being me. I think I'll go grayer, and use that time to stay more focused on myself. Maybe I'll create some distance and head to Vegas....
