I think you're right. The D is much more final to me now that I'm in the house again, and she's gone to her condo. It likely has some effect on her as well.
Update This weekend went well, with me enjoying S6 overnight Sun and afterschool on Mon. At transfer, XW invited me to meet them at a sub shop and we had lunch together. She was pleasant but distant. She and I both had head colds, and as I wasn't feeling the best, I imagine she might have had it rough as well. I thanked her for watching S6 on Fri-Sat (even tho she requested those days) noting that I knew it was rough as she was ill. She smiled at this.
A later phone call about a mysterious rash on S6 (me to her following his bathtime) led to her talking about possible ulvarian (sp?) cancer in XW, with me empathizing with her fear, and just listening as well as I could. She shared a bit, and I offered her my support.
At dropoff, S6 complained loudly about having to return to her, proclaiming he didn't like being with her, so I sat him in my knee (in front of her), described his beh as rude, acknowledged that his being transfered back and forth was hard, and told him that his mother and I were trying hard to do our best, but that he couldn't be rude to her. I had him give her a kiss and hug, and apologize. I know I forced him into a caretaking role there, and am not a proponent of that, but I wanted to 'overteach' him some level of respect. In our private convos, his depictions of home life with XW are appropriate, with her doing many more "mom" work that she was doing this summer. She looked crushed when he protested seeing her, but she thanked him softly for his kiss.
Overall, our interactions are returning toward a more peaceful place. Interestingly, although S6 wants us to reunite, I find him to almost run interference b/t XW and I when together or when we're talking. He seems to get so anxious when the 3 of us are together. For example, I had to send him to his room so that I could finish talking to XW about her C scare Sun night, as he started shouting at the phone so that I'd hang up on her. I wonder if some of his behavior is related to her being on the phone a lot while alone in the house with him (prior to moving). He gets tons of attention from me and needs to provide space for mommy and daddy time. This was a sore point in the M - my fault more so than hers - as S6 got attention to the detriment of our M (such as little/no dating).
I can see Wes' perspective regarding more pain and greater difficulty with detachment with increased positive contact, but hopefully, this increase in my related pain is mirrored by some healing in her and in our R. If so, then its a very worthwhile sacrifice.
My PMA is suffering a bit due to being sick and the lessened GAL work that has resulted.
