Quote: XW mentioned that she' undergoing tests for cancer and would keep me informed if anything shows up.
I don't want to make light of this, but for what it's worth, prior to the bomb, my W spent about 2-3 years fearing cancer and went through tests for stomach, eye, brain, colon, breast, and vaginal cancer. I guess this was her cry for help, but it just pushed me further away because after I while, I ended up treating her like a neurotic nut. Even if I was right , all I did was make her vulnerable to the first OM to pursue and validate her. So anyway, while I might be concerned, I also might see this as part of her total mental makeup at this time and an opportunity for you to continue showing the good man that you are--without any expectations.
Quote: I don't want to make light of this, but for what it's worth, prior to the bomb, my W spent about 2-3 years fearing cancer and went through tests for stomach, eye, brain, colon, breast, and vaginal cancer. I guess this was her cry for help, but it just pushed me further away because after I while, I ended up treating her like a neurotic nut.
Interesting, Merrick, because this can be a classic symptom of severe depression and/or obsessive compulsive disorder.
Quote: S6 seems to be really taking to my living at the house, with his laughing and mine filling the house nicely at times.
What a beautiful image! A house bursting with joy!
Quote: XW mentioned that she' undergoing tests for cancer and would keep me informed if anything shows up.
I know this kind of news must trouble you. I hope and pray there is no real danger of cancer, but if it is a depression symptom, XW still needs help.
I thought STBXW was depressed when she dropped the OM-1 bomb. In the week between two MC sessions, I checked out and read two books on living with and supporting a depressed S. The gist of my reading was that there's nothing I could have done, save try to keep things together for the kids, take care of myself, and watch for truly dangerous behaviors.
You're doing all that you can. I bet your mind can run races with this kind of news. I ask you to try not to borrow trouble. If this does turn out to be a battle with cancer, S6 is going to need your strength more than ever.
Is there any cancer history in her family? Has she ever smoked? Been exposed to carcinogens at work, etc.?
You're all in my prayers.
Thanks,
K
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
It seems like the PMA in your life has really grown since your move. I see a huge difference in your situation and interaction with ex since you have both settled into your new places. Just wanted to stop in and say hello. I was glad to hear you got that book on "How to Divorce as Friends". Thanks for letting me know you are listening to it. I hope it helps you and wasn't a waste of your time and money. For me, I thought it hit home in some areas. Take care.
Very busy today. Scant sleep last night due to lots of work, but had XW's FF a grad student in one of my classes come up and thank me for my efforts, noting that she was amazed I completed what I did while having S6 the past 3 days. I thanked her for the compliment. Hmmm.
XW thanked me for the running shoes last night. I gave them to her in a gym bag that I had been using that was from her fathers work. Its used now, but I made sure to wash it before returning it. I feel better using a new, generic one rather than one that reminds me of someone who allowed his spouse (MIL) to wreak such havoc on my R with XW. No true resentments, just a desire to free myself of unnecessary reminders.
S6 acted up at transfer last night, noting loudly that he wanted to stay with me, not return to her. I tried to calm him down but he was upset and XW got upset a bit as well. He refused a hug from her. Ouch. I felt terrible, and realized later that I could have reassured him about our next time together to offset his worry about the transfer. I know he loves her and misses her. It was just a tough thing to have happen then, especially with her being giving regarding more overnights with me.
XW emailed me has contacted me out of the blue at least 1x/day for the past 6 days. Much regarding S6, but still in a much friendlier tone. Here's to a better R - whatever form that takes.
I reckon that XW's FF is after you. I thought that the first time you posted about her and the more you write of her, the more I think so. She is hunting and you're the catch, that's why she is more willing to see your side of the M, asking for advice on her little problems (a woman's way of bonding is to talk), complimenting you etc.
It is blatently see-through, and if you are still interested in your XW, I would be very careful because you're not going to score points with her if you start getting involved with her best friend. I mean, that is a cardinal sin, along the same lines as me sleeping with Andy's brother.
Just be careful. I am a woman and I know when one is flirting.
, all I did was make her vulnerable to the first OM to pursue and validate her. So anyway, while I might be concerned, I also might see this as part of her total mental makeup at this time and an opportunity for you to continue showing the good man that you are--without any expectations.
A house bursting with joy!