Buddy, I think you and Martha and I are all saying the same thing, some more eloquently. A benefit to believing in God is that releasing one's WAS to Him includes the assumption that they'll be taken care of and that there will be many attempts to shepherd the WAS back to the flock. This leaves the LBS free to keep improving/self-actualizing.
Update XW called 3x yesterday, all centered on S6's new swim lessons and, later, on work. I let her go to VM the first 2xs, and she left long happy messages, inviting me to his swim lessons that she arranged, then telling me about how he did. Later that eve, we talked a bit, and we shared some laughs and positivity. Anyway, remember back in March-May when we would sit and visit during swim lessons or T-Ball, and the sitch was much more peaceful?
Saw her in the main office at work and merely said "hey!" and she started up another convo about S6, laughing etc... I stayed relaxed, sat on a table-top and just enjoyed the moment. She looked great, but I tried to center on the fact that I likely did as well.
A sobering fact was that she's still labeling me as an "unhealthy man" to those who supported her decision to D, so this is very split behavior.
Perhaps I need to recall that early mantra: "Believe none of what they say and only half of what they do."
