Hope, thanks for the props. I'm so looking forward to more time with S6.
Bruce, what would I do without your reminders to focus on myself? Actually, there is so much more peace in me that I expected to experience about my sitch. There are stumbling points, such as finding her hair in the dustpan after sweeping a room or remembering events in a room or part of the yard. I've only been back in the house 2 weeks, so that is probably normal.
Merrick, you described my targetted stance quite well. I don't see her as a fallen angel though, but more so as a prodigal spouse, wandering the world, distracting in a partially hedonistic manner. In this story, though, if she never comes back, S6 and I will build and live wonderful lives. I'll work hard to make sure of that, while he's a dependent, and for myself regardless. I see the remaining potential in her for good, and do have hopes for her that are more eternal in focus than centering on our reconciliation.
Bruce, you're right that the person I knew and loved is gone, in that she's changed. But she also changed drastically from when I first discovered this amazing 23yo to the 30 mother of my child to the 33yo who walked away from our M. I expect her and myself as well to change and unfold as life goes on, with no two moments ever displaying the same person.
So is there hope? Yes, there is always hope.
But I'll focus on what I can control, and leave the rest to God and XW.
