Congrats on the expanded overnights! Those have been the greatest gift I've received in my own sitch and I know you'll make the most of them.
I've been diving into C.S. Lewis this week so I'm in a heightened theological mood and had to post to you. I want you to know that you are constantly in the back of my mind in terms of showing unconditional love to your W. More specifically, you have tested my conversion regarding my interactions in my own M. Now, I may have a differnt take than you, but you have definitely challenged my thinking and helped to open new doors of insight.
Generally speaking, you often say your goal for XW is for her to tbe happy, with or without you. Personally, I've always wrestled with that in that while deep down I don't wish ill will to W, I'm not sure what this happiness is all about. On earth? Eternally? And perhaps most important, happiness at whose expense. Me? Our children? In fact, when someone tells me that they just want me to be "happy," I'm tempted to to ask in response, "If I said sleeping consensually with your W or D (of age, of course ) would make me happy, would that be okay? When put that way, people have a very different view (can you tell I may not be making as lot of new friends! ).
In any event, what I'm discerning from your sitch, is the sense of viewing XW as a fallen angel. Good taking a bad turn. And when you view your X through that lens it opens the door to compassion and a desire to show true love not so much as a wish that X will be happy as it is a desire to see W make choices more consistent with the goodness that is part of her creation. Furthermore, so long as this perspective is genuinely centered about compasion for X's eternal destiny as opposed to your personal desires for your own life, I think one can truly experience love the way God intended and Christ tried to demonstrate.
This is not to say that I am happy with W's decisions that affect me and the kids or that I will not get angry at them. But it does give me a new perspective that I should try to use when I must interact with W that can lessen my hostility. That can only be a good thing.
Gabe, as I reread this, I really want to thank you for helping me understand this a little bit better in my own life. I honestly believe that if I had not been reading your thread, this kind of discernment never would have occurred and would have taken me much longer to achieve. This is just one more reminder to me that a community of faith is essential to keeping the light burning brightly.
) would make me happy, would that be okay? When put that way, people have a very different view (can you tell I may not be making as lot of new friends! 
