I consider you to be a friend and an intelligent and logical person, this is why I become SOOOO frustrated with you.
Quote: I now know that she's got to get thru this MLC stuff herself,
Your focus is still on HER, what she is doing or going through or when she gets through it you will be together.
Quote: She seems like she's becoming a bit more unraveled. Can't quite put my finger on it, but she 'feels' shaky. Unlike before, I don't want her to fall apart so that she can run back to me, saying "I need you." I want her to defeat her ghosts, to grow healthy, and then and only then, if it comes to this, for her to say, "I want you."
Arrrghhhhhhhhhhhh.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE IS GOING THROUGH. I know (believe me, I know) there is this need to measure, label, and quantify, but with behaviors, this is not always possible.
Even if she is "going through something" and does "come out the other side," you again, have no idea where her life is headed. She may be much happier living alone, moving to Tibet, joining the circus, or anything.
We all want desperately to find and be with the person we knew and loved before, but that person, the person we believed in and thought we knew, is gone. It leaves us empty and sick and dying inside to believe this, but this is the truth. The situation and the reality, now, not a year or two or five in the past or three years in the future, when we reconnect (like we dreamed), but the, they are gone and not in our lives, now.
Understand, you will receive (some) sympathy from a single, working Dad, with three kids and house to take care of.
Take care of the now, not the tomorrow or the yesterday.
