Woo-hoo! I just successfully negotiated 4 more overnights with S6. Up to 10 a month now. 14 visits overall per month, with near daily contact (driving to/from school) otherwise, except for XWs weekends with him.
In prior months, my controlling side would have wanted him to be with her, to "keep her out of trouble" etc... I now know that she's got to get thru this MLC stuff herself, that it is at least a little sacrifice to be away from him, especially now, knowing that he's spending time with me at what was our marital home.
I brought it up after picking S6 up to drive him to school. He started asking when he could next spend time with me, and seemed very hurt that our next visit would be Sat. It will be a sacrifice, as I have more work than any sane person should have, and the house is a challenge to keep up with solo. But I'll deal with it happily, if it means more time with him, and more space and time for her to go thru her replay or depressed modes. It may be what she needs to compare the grass on that side versus our sitch here at home.
She seems like she's becoming a bit more unraveled. Can't quite put my finger on it, but she 'feels' shaky. Unlike before, I don't want her to fall apart so that she can run back to me, saying "I need you." I want her to defeat her ghosts, to grow healthy, and then and only then, if it comes to this, for her to say, "I want you."
The exchange re more time was calm, to the point, not overly friendly. I feel very blessed this morning.
