Quote: but that she has a lot of wonderful living to look forward to, and that S6 needed a healthy mommy.
IMHO, you probably could have handled this better. Whenever you use the word "but" you negate what the other person is sharing with you. Try to validate more and negate less.
Quote: ...wanted to follow my lead in terms of setting up a consistent plan for his allowance and a reinforcement plan for his behavior. I rephrased it as a cooperative effort, and thanked her for joining me with it.
This is probably a point in the conversation where you could have affirmed her parenting skills more (since I know this is something you've been wanting to focus on more in your interactions with her).
Quote: A FF told me that XW is lonely, is frustrated with dating, has invested in an expensive new sextoy (can you pay $200+ for a vibrator?!), has gotten at least her bellybutton pierced, and is going to nude beaches. Ugggh.
I think we've discussed this before, but this sounds a lot like someone who is re-exploring their sexuality in an adolescent way. How old is your XW again? Mid-30's? Remember -- women hit their sexual peak in their 30's. All I can say about my 30's is man-oh-man was I horny...ALL the freakin' time! I developed a real empathly for what it must be like to be an adolescent boy! Since she's been rather closed off in this area in the past (from what you have described previously), I wouldn't worry too much about this. It is healthy for her to discover or re-discover the sexual part of her being. She will return to center when her hormones calm down a bit.
I'm glad that you treated yourself to some time to catch up on sleep. Obviously you needed it, or you wouldn't have slept so long. Honey, it's important that you take care of yourself in the calm, quiet, nurturing (Venusian) ways as well as the Martian ways (working out, running, developing your career, etc.). Balance, balance, balance. Treat yourself to a nice bubble bath in candlelight sometime, with a good book and a nice bottle of wine. You'd be amazed at what something like that can do for your PMA.
AS far as XW leaving old momentos and stuff behind? That's a very psychological statement about the parts of her life she needs to shed in some way, so don't take it personally. When I prepared to relocate 3 years ago, I sold off a lot of my furniture. I had spent most of my adult life collecting early American antiques. I suddenly found myself asking "why do I have this stuff? Why is this how I've always decorated?" The answer? Because that was what I was raised with. So, like a snake shedding its skin, I decided to shed some things that represented an old way of life for me.
Of course I was also an empty nester at the time and knew I was moving into a new phase of my life. It's not uncommon for newly singled people to re-evaluate what they have previously held on to. Now, having said that, it doesn't mean that I completely turned my back on the past lessons and experiences of my life. I just learned to incorporate them in a more healthy way.
I'm glad that you are enjoying nesting. It's good for you to spend some time feathering your own nest, so to speak. It will help you focus on you! SO went through this after we split up, and it has been good for him as well. I don't think Martians spend enough time doing this.
You're in my thoughts, honey. All of my four cents, FWIW.
I developed a real empathly for what it must be like to be an adolescent boy! Since she's been rather closed off in this area in the past (from what you have described previously), I wouldn't worry too much about this. It is healthy for her to discover or re-discover the sexual part of her being. She will return to center when her hormones calm down a bit. 
