M, you're right - those are just things, and the R lives apart from them. JDD, I think you're right about feeling some relief after such a release. It's easier than keeping things bottled up, huh? T, I think you're right. She is struggling and I feel for her. I want her to be happy - with or without me.
Sam, you are one tough cookie. You are ever so right - life is not fair, and although I may allow myself to grieve this loss, I will not feel sorry for myself. Nor will I expect to have things end up my way. I can only control myself. Something I noticed this afternoon made me convinced that you are right - she was mourning the loss of our family during the last months as well, and likely during the move.
I was in the backyard with S6 this afternoon, using the playground I built him. I was such a joy to push him on the swing and climb the rockwall together, and play superheroes. For just a little bit, I heard his carefree laughter without the thoughtful, muted tone that has seeped into his way of being this year.
While running around the yard, I stopped short. XW had stopped feeding her wild birds. Never in 12 yrs has she faild to feed the birds so that she can watch them while drinking her coffee in the morn, or while making dinner in the eve. Her favorite rosebushes were all dead or diseased. It was as if she refused to look outside, and stayed holed up inside like a hostage for several months. What an awful way to be, if so.
I feel a ton of sympathy for her. Not pity, just pure sympathy.
At dropoff, she looked at my checks for CS and student loans, glared, and was very muted in her interactions. I shared some things about S6, and she seemed to want to get going, so I cut things short.
Lost, you are right that she's both excited about her new place, and very angry again at me after having left our home.
You are ever so right - life is not fair, and although I may allow myself to grieve this loss, I will not feel sorry for myself. Nor will I expect to have things end up my way. I can only control myself. Something I noticed this afternoon made me convinced that you are right - she was mourning the loss of our family during the last months as well, and likely during the move.
