“…doing something that you know in the long run is good when there are no benefits now.” I don’t think this is true. Read what Blackfoot and HP just said. They too do not believe your wife wants divorce. HP make a great post on BF’s thread about this and how the woman tries to read the man.
I understand you are depressed right now and it is difficult to see anything down in a hole, but intellectually can you appreciate how your current emotions totally distort how you are evaluating things? If you could climb out of your hole and then look around, you could see the rest of the world and realize the blinders you had on. Those blinders are your emotions.
Right now there is no way for you to “feel” this, you just have to understand it. But as you climb out, the 180s can make a difference a lot sooner than you think, especially if she really wants a marriage (which the consensus here seems to think). If she is really finished with you, then none of this matters, but you have not said anything that would lead me to believe that. So I don’t see any course of action other than moving on the advice that everyone is giving you and forcing yourself to override your emotions and take an optimistic position.
And by “wrongo” I mean your evaluation that my wife is only mad for a short period of time. In her mind, she is mad and will remain so FOREVER.
