"get us to see that there HAD to be more than this" That is I think the crux of our problem (W and I). She doesn't see the need for anything more than she has, while I cannot be content where we are.
"I want that life to be a good one." DITTO!!!!
I saw a Law and Order rerun last night that did make me aware of one of my fears. It was about a woman who had some bad psychosis so she was on huge amounts of meds all the time and couldn't really function. She had avoided love because of her mental problems but fell for it anyway with another mentally ill guy. She eventually got so depressed at her situation and the worry that she would just get worse and worse drove her to ask her boyfriend to kill her, which he reluctantly did.
I think that is part of my resistance to getting on meds because I don't want to be someone who is stuck on them the rest of my life constantly needing higher and higher doses. Fear of an unhappy future can drive you batty if you let it.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
