Your situation reminds me more and more of a diluted version of mid-life crisis (but then some MLC issues seem to me like the relationship problems discussed here). The reason I reiterate this is due to the confusion you are going through. Those in MLC have the same mixed feelings, but with a strong dose of anger and resentment. I do not see that in your posts, (at least not yet) which is why I think you have not left the house (I bet if this occurred 5 or 10 years from now, when the kids are older, you could have easily walked out).
But those in MLC need a lot of time to work through their emotions. The anger prolongs this. Once they settle down and are able to rationally think, they can see things in a different light and make a decision on what they want. Read the MLC boards. This theme is everywhere.
When I get into this information overload situation, the best thing I can do is leave it alone for a while. If I can completely focus on something else, the issues seem to settle into their own place by themselves. Then I can go through them one by one. For me, I think this lets me settle into how I feel about each topic, so then I can decide what to do about it. I can’t make this decision if I don’t know how I feel. Doing this is not easy for me, but not doing it is worse.
Just my amateurish opinion, not to be taken as diagnosis. Cobra
