Quote: "Did you have any of these feelings toward your wife at the intiation of your relationship?" Sorry I don't understand your question. Do you mean that I thought my wife was self-serving and self-deceptive
I think what Mrs. Nop is asking here ( man I hope I am not wrong here, normally I like it. ) is if your R with your wife initiated out of secrecy, deception, and a feeling of entitlment.... or being self- serving.
Aargh. No, I just did a poor job of quoting and response combining.
I was trying to ascertain whether or not Glob had had similar warm, fuzzy, rushing feelings with his wife during the beginning of their dating/marital relationship.
"You actually hear this? That is frightening." Unfortunately yes, and many other rather extreme statements. If you want a real eye-opening experience into extreme religion, go to the 'Institute for Creation Research' or 'Answers in Genesis' websites and read some of their articles. Then read the TalkOrigins website afterwards if you find yourself muddled in anyway by all the misinterpretations of scientific theory.
If you want a REAL scare, try these links out: (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0042/0042_01.asp or http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1051/1051_01.asp). Keep your hands away from your hair or you will be bald very quickly. So you don't look anything like Mrs Henn do you?
Sorry whoever is moderating this for the off topic post. I promise not to dwell on the issue, but it is an issue for me.
I am involved in the teaching process. I do try to respect all of my student's views, because I believe the best way for them to acheive a proper understanding of science is for them to open their minds and that won't happen if they have the mindset that their teacher is belittling them. But I do not tolerate extremism either. I don't react well to anyone telling me I am going to hell for teaching the Big Bang or evolution.
"Blackfoot would be proud but I notice he has been avoiding this thread like the plague." I hope I didn't say or do anything to make him uncomfortable about posting here. I hope you know Blackfoot that I am just trying to work my way through all the murk in my head. I do appreciate your advice and perspective.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"if your R with your wife initiated out of secrecy, deception, and a feeling of entitlment.... or being self- serving." Well, I guess it is possible that in my naivite I had some of those things present, but I am pretty darn sure that was not the case. I guess every relationship is self-serving to some degree as we are all looking to have our needs met.
"R with OW made you feel good, but it was also extremely self- destructive. It was not good for anything you want to accomplish." I can see how it was self-destructive in that it could cost me my chance at a good relationship with the W. But then again, and I truly believe this, that if it had not happened I would have eventually divorced my wife, and probably sooner rather than later. There was a lot of crap building up inside me but it wasn't until the EA happened (and then ended) that I really started to look closely at it. Was there a better way I could have reached this enlightenment, yes I'm sure. Would anything less than a major shake-up in my paradigm have gotten through to me in my walled-up state, probably not. I believe there is a purpose to everything in life. I haven't quite figured out the whole purpose for what has happened yet, but it is coming to me slowly.
"Feelings are tricky, the stronger they are the more likely they coerce us into making the wrong choice" I think the word likely is important in that statement. Following our feelings is not always a bad choice.
"As an observer you are all over the place right now globule. HP is right all of this is going into your W's do not forget file of resentment." I know, I know. I'm not following the blackfoot model very well. Too disorganized in my thoughts, to emotional, too needy, too pushy, to wimpy. I know my W can't be feeling too much respect for me right now. I guess all I can do is keep trying to be Mr. Cool until it sticks. And if the W builds up a huge wall of resentment in the meantime, I guess we'll deal with it at the right time, one way or another.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"What I meant was did you have similar feeling towards your wife in the beginning of your relationship as the feelings you have experienced with the co-worker?" To some degree but there were fundamental differences. I do remember actually becoming "turned on" just by holding my W hand when we were first dating, wanting to spend time with her, found her interesting, etc. But the vast difference in sexual maturity between my wife (even today) and the OW creates a bit of a difference in my mind. Plus the fact that it did not get physical with the OW is a big difference. I don't know how to explain it other than with my W, the physical side happened but it never "happened." With OW it never happened but it sure felt like it would have if we had let it.
I know that you weren't trying to "bust my chops" as you say with that remark. If you read the very first paragraph of my first post (more than you ever wanted to know and then some) you'll see that one of my worst traits is that I constantly stress over the possibility that people don't like me. Weak, co-dependant, for sure (and not very attractive to women either as I'm told), but Ihave always been that way. I know you are probably going to think this is romanticizing, but the OW is probably the only person in my life that I never felt that way with. The only other person I can think of that would fit would be my younger brother. He has always sort of looked up to me as his protector (ironic, eh?).
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
“The only other person I can think of that would fit would be my younger brother. He has always sort of looked up to me as his protector (ironic, eh?).”
Don’t you think this says something? Maybe the common link to you feeling “yourself” has less to do with the other person, than the message they are giving you. Admiration can be addicting, especially if you feel like you’ve never had any before. Kind of like an emotional affair, don’t you think?
(And this is my personal, amateurist opinion, not to be taken as diagnosis. Better, Chrissy?)
That could be true. There was definitely a mutual admiration between OW and I.
Oh, and I just realized I never responded to your earlier post. Sorry about that. Your posts are dense so it takes me awhile to formulate a response, but my thread got long and I got sidetracked.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
not avoiding, others have been stating more succinctly then I what I have been noticing and would comment on. There is a lot in your two threads allready to ruminate on.
Quote: I hope I didn't say or do anything to make him uncomfortable about posting here. I hope you know Blackfoot that I am just trying to work my way through all the murk in my head. I do appreciate your advice and perspective.
First off stop caring what I or others think of you. Smack Smack. You are a grown succesful man with your own beliefs and life to live. Smack, Smack.
I know the murk in your head. What are you doing about it?
Dont worry Ill keep posting my opinion untill you ask otherwise. Im not worried about what you think of me or it.
Thats not exactly what I meant by opening up. As ironic and amusing as I find what it is that you do, I'm more interested in finding out what you are doing to be a better wife.
Perfect as you are and even though its all your H's fault, as Rob Bass says .....It takes Two to make a thing go right....
He really brings you coffee and a muffin every morning?
Man I would unceremoniously roll your A$$ out of bed in the morning and send you for them. No wonder you are discontent. Spoiled brat. Your completely unfullfilled as a woman. Man I want to smack the wuss out of him too now.
Sheesh woman get cracking and stop letting him give to you what he wants you to give to him.
You want him to speak your LL so speak his to him.
Any suprises for him when he gets home with your Keane autograph?
