You are right that was a very irresponsible and wrong-headed view for me to take. If the OW called me up today and said things were falling apart, there is nothing I could really do about it that would not immediately put my M in utter jeaopardy (sp?).
My thoughts have been all over the place today. Sorry about that. I really don't want to do anything to hurt my W more than I already have. I can't seem to get a good grip on all my feelings. I feel like I am in the middle of a tornado at times. I'm trying to feel good about myself and make good decisions in the midst of a lot of lingering guilt and uncertainty. Lack of sleep certainly isn't helping either (been averaging about 2 hours of sleep per night, I try to help the W get some sleep by holding the baby when it is fussy at night, she needs the sleep more than I do).
I have awhile back asked her what she thought of me as a person and she did make mention of what she thought were my defining qualities. None of them had anything to do with being emotional, except "generous to a fault."
We were just about to the point were potty training was going to begin when the birth hit. All thoughts of potty training are now gone.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
