How about incorporating some of the things that you liked about yourself, when with OW, and applying them to your W?
Such as, Strike up an interesting convo with W, once per week. Be funny. Wink at her.
Whatever! Do a 180.
Start slow and change yourself. Your wife will follow suit.
You cannot turn your wife into the OW.
This is not only unfair, it is INSULTING to her. If you were my H, I'd be royally pissed at even the thought of it. Don't think that this thought has not occurred to her.
OTOH, if I were you, I'd be royally pissed that my wife ignored me. You are both wrong and both need to change. I'm not intending this as an ass whooping, that's not my personality. I just want you to succeed. Your family is so young and small, it needs some tender lovin care to get it to "gel" and cement into something strong.
For that to happen, you've gotta be committed to your wife and to your marriage.
I'm sorry, but the OW sounds addicted to outside validation. If this is not the first time she's strayed outside her marriage, it aint the last. Would you want to be on the receiving end of her betrayals? I doubt it! Your wife is loyal, there's somethin to be said for that.
Anyway, enough of the smackdown. I really just want the best for you and I see disaster looming if you don't pick your battles wisely.
There have been...ahem...times in my M when my timing was so bad I am ashamed of myself. I caused my husband no small amount of grief and stress. Once, he had a panic attack (truly, it scared the sh*t out of him) at work because he was afraid of losing his job and I would not--would NOT--let up on the homefront pressure. This still haunts me. I wish I had been more sensitive to his daily struggles and able to see that there are two people in this marriage, not just me, and that timing is an important element to all of this.
