Hi Globule...Regarding your sitch, part of me relates to your wife's LDness ( especially in my early marriage/ young mother days) and another part relates to the urgency you feel to have a sensual marriage. You are still adjusting to " OW withdrawals"...in time you will calm down to fully embrace the challenge to get your marriage to a more intimate place. I feel the need to throw in here that it's going to take some time...if you can channel your energy to see this as a challenge, it may help with the sense of urgency you feel. It's like you and W have to build your own marital interferometer to chart out new territory...the C will help to provide a clean lens, but there is going to be a lot of trial and error.
Something I'm curious about that hasn't been touched here yet...you say that your W is close with her parents. What kind of influence does her mother have on her? Does W feel pressure to live up to some " good mother" expectation? Somewhere she has internalized the message that it's reasonable to give up a sensual identity...I can tell you that underneath, she is not happy about this. Your changes will help to create health within her, a win-win situation for the whole family.
Anyway...congrats on the baby! And btw, you have great taste in music!
