At our first MC, the C took my wife aside and spent most of the time talking to her. The wife seemed happy to do it. I hope that it will continue to be that way. I have no problems with my wife getting individual C.
I guess it has been a little over a month now. I do appreciate that she didn't immediately just leave me upon hearing about the affair, and I do take that as a gesture that she loves me. I honestly do believe that my wife loves me, its just that I have a hard time feeling it because she doesn't show it to me, and hasn't much our whole marriage. I have no delusions that the change would be immediate. Right now I just wish she would talk to me. If she would just tell me that she is withholding affection and sex because of bad feeling from the EA, I could understand that. But of course, the witholding of affection and sex has been going on before the EA, so there is something else there too.
You mean your husband came back after an affair, expected you to welcome him back, and then wasn't even nice to you. I can't say I blame you for wanting to leave. Believe me, I have TRIED to show my wife I love her. I have tried all of the love languages, I say the words to her, I do things for her, I give her gifts, I am affectionate toward her, and I make time to spend with her.
Well, I could find another job, but the job I have is the one that my W wanted me to have because it allows us to be close to her family. There really isn't another job I could get that would do that. I think I am making myself an open book, but maybe I'm not. I am definitely trying anyway. I help out with the kids more and help around the house a lot.
I do understand that it might be hard to embrace the new me. But the problem is that the old me was the person who made all the relationship mistakes that led to the EA. The new me may want a more sexual and affectionate relationship, but I don't think that is an bad goal, despite its origin. It may be hard for her to accept that and thus take time, I agree. One thing is for certain, I cannot go back to a permananent non-sexual non-affectionate relationship.
Thanks for your words.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
