"I would have bet my life on some sort of connection still being played out with OW" I guess you won that bet so your life is still yours, which is a good thing.
I am sorry that you couldn't find the EC in your relationships. It is a really good feeling that we had for that short time. It does pain me that I haven't had great sex in my life, but I am glad that I didn't go there with OW. I want to have the chance to experience that first with my W, if she will let me.
Mutual friend saw the whole thing happening and tried to discourage it a few times but she was involved in her own mess at the same time. It is hard to tell what she really thinks though. She is definitely a better friend to OW than to me as they have known each other much longer. But I do think she is a true friend to me.
I am not suicidal anymore, and I am actually ashamed that I even was for a short time. It was a cowardly response not worthy of me, and extraordinarily unfair to my wife and children and everyone else in my life. Thanks for caring though.
The "one chance at happiness" comment comes from my fear that I will spend the rest of my life trying to have the relationship I want with my wife and never succeeding, the passion hovering just out of my reach.
Thanks so much for your kind words. It does help a lot to talk to someone who understands me. Knowing that you were able to make it through a similar situation gives me hope. As Lil says it, "happy sexy" Globule will eventually be in control and "mopy depressed" Globule will just be a bad memory, especially with a little help from friends like you.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
