Globule responded to you Cobra with Can it really be this simple? I mean simple as in what it is, not how to deal with it. She doesn't feel like I have apologized enough? I think you are way off on this one. "Profusely apologizing" is not going to make a dent in her "idealized woman" persona. Sure, he should apologize but let's not discount her part in this mess. You saved it at the end when you wrote For you, though, do not let your sense of guilt overwhelm you. She is just as dysfunctional and had a role to play in all of this. It is a learning experience for her as well as you. That is right on the money. But, she needs to LEARN from it herself if things in the M are to get better. Only time will tell. She will not show it but she really needs support and validation. She wants someone to come and hold her and let her know everything will be alright. Does she? What behaviors has she displayed to make him believe this? In fact, when he appraoches her she shoved him away. You cannot force what you think the solution is if the other person does not want to fix the M! The problem I have with these people (my wife included) is though they may be connected and feel attached to you, they are too scared to show it. This means she was probably more attached to you than you realize. Actions speak louder than words and Globule is getting neither! How can we make assumptions about how she is feeling if she does not say it or act like it? Is it a guess? I found it very telling that when Globule asked her "You do know that I love you don't you?" She brushed it off. That may be projection on her part. Remember from the first post, "you never swept me off my feet." Maybe she still feels this way about HIM and thus treats him the way she does. She needs some sense of vengeance to process her anger. Do you see now why there is no way she could have sex with you, or even consider it. In fact, your asking any mad her madder since you seemed even more selfish after hurting her so massively. What!? So now we are saying it is ok for her to be withholding sex/affection/intimacy because he deserves it? Two wrongs don't make a right. If my H said there was going to be no sex because of OM I would have said "don't let the door hit you on the way out." Either she wants to fix it or she doesn't! Sorry Cobra, just had to get that out. Don't take it personally
