Globule
That pained me to read but I would have bet my life on some sort of connection still being played out with OW. We are VERY similar in our personalities it seems so it only made sense that you would react somewhat similarly as I did to breaking off with OM.
I think it also makes it harder on you since she is the one that initiated the break off. I don't think I discussed this related to my situation but OM basically told me he could not give me more than what we had (amazing sex) and a few dinners and movies now and then. I wanted more than that but we both knew we did not really have the potential to make it more emotional/intimate than it was (beyond sexual of course).
You had that great EC that I craved (still crave) and I'm a little envious of that but than again you are probably envious of the amazing sexual connection we had, so I guess we're even
What does this mutual friend say about the whole thing? Is she encouraging this connection? Who's friend is she more, yours or OW? Hmm...
I know you want the "lifeline" to OW but you are just dragging out the inevitable. Then again, I know we are both gluttons for punishment so who am I to talk. OM and I were sending each other photos and stuff until the bitter end. It's hard to break away. But it is so much better when you get to the other side. You just need to trust me on this. It broke my heart to hear you talk of suicide. The pain can be unbearable but there are SO MANY other options than that. If you need to get a divorce, separate, whatever, in the end, those kids will still have you as their father. Use the kids as a source of strength to get through this right now. You will!!The OW was NOT your one chance at happiness If you cannot find it with W, you will find it with someone else. You may need to give up on the M but NEVER give up on yourself. I can tell you are a special person. I don't even "really" know you but I can sense it already. I'm glad I found you too!