The saga continues

[chromosphere]

Now I know about "thread locking". I guess it is a maximum number of replies limit on the BB server setup. Well, the thread is continued here. LFL here is my reply to your third-to-last post on my earlier thread. I'll respond to the others soon.

I definitely feel taken for granted. I know my wife would probably say the same things as your best friend, if she ever talked about it. The fact that she would have difficulty supporting herself if I left is one of the reasons I don't feel I can leave. Its not the main reason (I love her and want to try to make things work) but it is something I have thought about. I couldn't live with myself knowing I had left her to such a difficult life.

Your next statement is scary to me for sure. I can say with some certainty that if she is still acting this way a few years from now, it will be hard for me not to seriously be thinking about leaving. I can't live like this forever. I'm not one of those saintly guys that can give up everything they want out of life and still be happy.

I'm am definitely going to have to work on my patience. I think you are right on the money when you say the W is probably going to stay clammed up for awhile, even in counseling. It will be frustrating for sure, and I am going to have to fight the urge to take it to extremes just to get her to say something, anything.

I can also feel that you are absolutely right about the W needing to put some effort in. Even in just the past few months, it seems like the few topics we have talked about, we have gone over and over and over with no real progress. I've got to get her to start reading some of these books or something. She did get on ivillage for awhile and was reading about "clashing libidos" but I think that lasted for all of two days. The W and I were doing Dr. Phil's Relationship Rescue workbook for awhile there, but she said that she hated it because it was too sad. I think it was honeypot or hairdog or someone like that who was also having trouble getting their S to read. Maybe I'll try the one chapter at a time approach.

SILENT TREATMENT SUCKS!!!! If anyone uses it on their S, I highly recommend you reconsider. It is the worst thing you can do in my opinion (I guess short of physical abuse). I'd rather have my wife yell at me for a few hours than not speak to me for days.