Hey Preacher...You know as long as I dont get "too personal" here, I think H would understand. He did say once that he knows its a place for me to go to talk sometimes. It has been a nice break from the boards, but I also miss it. Its like a big old journal for me..where I put my thoughts and feelings and then sometimes have others comment on them. I guess the time away also helped to me make sure that coming her was not a "crutch" for my M. And its not. So...moving on...
Journaling....
Things are going quite well!! Im still not very good at communicating my feelings or anxieties to my H, but I am working on it. I have learned that the longer I ponder about what to say or how to say it..the harder it gets and then I usually end up not saying anything at all. So I am trying to get into the practice of saying how I feel right away, as long as I know it will come out right.
I have a DB friend here in Colorado and we both have these "setbacks" every once in a while. Its really not anything our H have done, its just how are minds work. Its not fun. I think in time, it will go away, because its usually only a bad, insecure thought for a minute or two and then we realize just how dumb we are being. But its that minute or two that are so hard and bring back all the bad memories. I think these times are happening much more to me lately, due to the wedding of the OW's sister that H says we are going to on New Years Eve. Its my insecurities that are making me worry, not my H or what he is doing. If I could just find a way to let him know how I feel about it and that its not HIM, its ME...and I am working on it.
