Thanks amd!!

Quote:

Go back through your posts and be amazed and heartened by how far you've come.



I know I should do that...but Im afraid to. I dont want to "feel" that way again, just by reading what has happened. Am I a chicken? Maybe..its just so hard to read how much pain I had to go through. Now, the person who SHOULD read it is my H!! Hee hee...especially now...since his head isnt located in his a** anymore!! Then he could really see just how much pain I was in!

Communication....yea, H does not communicate well with words. Thats why I have to read his actions all the time. Even though he is starting to communicate a lot more to me, its still not about his feelings or about us. So, I look to his actions and in his actions, I see how much he loves me. Just last night, I was watching some friends kids and I called H and asked what he was doing. He was cleaning the house!! Scrubbing bathrooms, putting dishes away and doing laundry!! WOW!! That shows me he loves me!! So, when I got home, told him the bathrooms looked wonderful and thanked him so much for all his help! Then, we ML!! IT was wonderful!! Funny thing too...I got home pretty late from watching kids and H was waiting up for me!! So nice..and way past when he wouuld usually go to sleep!!

Today he is off to Denver to play in a poker tournament, then afterwards, he is going up to football game with his friends. Sometimes its still really hard to "let him go" do his stuff. I dont think its so much that I am afraid of what he will do as it is about being jealous. I like to go out and have some drinks once in a while and I never get to do it. I love to go out and go dancing and I never get to do it. So, its kind of a bummer for me to sit home when I know hes out having good time. Hopefully some day these "single friends" of his will either get married or get girlfriends, so that I can be invited along!!