No, H really never told me what went wrong in our M. It was all that he was always in love with this OW and that after she got married to someone else, he thought he would too. Of course this was him talking when he was in his "alien" state. So dont know how much of it was really true or if he was just saying it to make him having the affair ok.
I honestly am not sure about how he feels. He is not much of a communicator of feelings and never has been. But in his actions, he is showing me that he is trying and does really care and love me. Just last nite and the past couple nights in bed, he has either rubbed my leg or my hand w/out me asking. So, he is doing things for me that he knows I like, because I have asked him or told him I like them. Just finally, it seems as if he is getting more comfortable with showing me affection and he's feeling safer in our R to start doing things for me.
I think you are right about him being afraid of losing his independence.I think thats one of the reasons he is afraid of having kids. I dont think its about him doing things I dont want him to, its about him not losing who he is and who he wants to be. I have "loosened the strings" as to say, lots in the past year. I think that has helped tremendously. But for some reason, there are still times when H feels he has to show me that I dont run his life. Crazy....I know..
I think things are slowly getting better, H is starting to do some of the things I need him to do for me. There will come a time when I think I will be able to ask him for things that I still need, but right now, I think he is doing all that he can. Im still being patient!!
