Hello, One of the differences between now and prior to the separation, is that now I more often find my W attractive. It usually is connected to latin dancing--when we're practicing or out at a favorite dance venue. It's a mixture of the music, the lively way she dresses, the feeling of connection with others who also enjoy dancing, and the connection we have with each other.
A struggle is dealing with the emotions related to conflict. It seems difficult to always feel attracted to your spouse. I frequently feel like I'm wrestling with the "devil" inside of me. These include emotions such as resentment, fear, impatience, and anger, or states of mind such as self-centeredness, being critical, or judgmental.
I struggle dealing with emotions and states of mind related to her 3 month unemployment, and long-time smoking habit. Maybe the fact that I'm struggling to think/feel/act in constructive ways is a sign of progress. In the past I probably stayed too long in negative ways of thinking/feeling/acting that created harm in the relationship.
Concerned_Listener
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
