Hello, I'm posting for the first time since spring of 04'. My W and I have been back together, following a marital separation, since July of 04'. I'm finding myself worrying often about the state of the marriage, so I thought I would return to posting for perspective, advice, and support.
I'll summarize the past year as succinctly as possible. W returned home last summer after a seven month separation. W began taking Spanish lessons last year and continues with this. W and I began latin dancing last November, and are now dancing 3X per week. We have a joint activity we now enjoy. We returned to a sex therapist in January as our sexual intimacy problems continued. I closed a part-time business this summer, and now am content to work 40 hours per week at my regular job. My W quit a part-time job where she was being mistreated, and has been unemployed for nearly three months.
Our frequency of sexual intercourse has increased to almost weekly, the past several months. Prior to that, sexual intercourse occurred monthly to bi-monthly. She still is unhappy because she says it's just having sex. My assignments from the therapist are to abstain from masturbation, and to become more comfortable with french kissing with my wife. I had been doing the kissing exercises, but stopped when the sexual frequency increased. I thought she was enjoying the sexual intercourse, but was dismayed to find-out at our last session that it falls short of her needs and expectations.
I'm beginning to think that maybe I'm not a good lover, and that I do need to become more skilled at this. I'm frustrated by the fact that the increase in sexual intercourse has not resolved our sexual conflict.
Concerned_Listener
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
