8-25 Well, H called after work to tell me he was on his way. I left the baby with my parents across the street. I came home and waited. It seemed to be taking him a long time, so I called him. He said he was talking to his Dad. He didn't sound happy about it, so I was assuming his mother told his father that I told her and his father mentioned my conversation with his mother. He finally came home and walked right in and sat in the chair. He said "thanks for calling my mom." I told him I didn'tknow what to do. I needed someone to talk to that knew him and toldher that I was worried about him. I wanted them to know what was going on and that I was not the one giving up. Anyway, he was Pissed about that, but not too bad.
I just came out and asked him what changed his mind. He said that he just couldn't do it. I said do what? He said couldn't get a divorce. I said that if that was the only reason he was staying then I didn't want that. He said "I don't want to lose you." Ok, that was a start. I told him that I needed to know the truth about the Ow. I told him that I pretty much knew what really happened, but I needed to hear it from him. He started getting huffy again. I said ok let me ask questions. I said I knew he had talked to Laura before she called me. He didn't deny that. I told him that he told me it was the last week he was there but the phone records show Laura's number all the way back to July 24th. I said what about that. He said that was in black and white. Ok, not sure what that meant, but ok. He said "I told you about Laura a long time ago." I said I know. I said ok,so there really were 2 different people? He said yes. I said and nothing happened with either one of them, he said no. Ok, then I asked where he met this "Alene" person. He said at a bar. I said you told me you met her at a restaurant, he said yes at the bar. Ok, I asked where she worked. He said he couldn't remember what company, but she was in design, and he kind of hesitated and said architectural design or something like that. I just said ok. I askedif he was going to keep talking to Laura. He said no,so I asked if he had talked to Laura that day. He said no, but he did talk to her last night before he came home. I asked him he had told her he was leaving. He said yes. I asked what she said. He said she told him he needed to be sure that is what he wanted to do. I said ok and then told him that Laura told me I could call her if I ever wanted to talk. He said really b/c she told him that I asked if I could call her!!!!! OMG! She is a lier. I didn't say that though. I said you wanna know what else she told me. He said no he didn't care. I told him anyway, that she told me that he told her I asked him for a divorce. He said no,I never told her that.SHe must have been confused. I said I guess so.
Then I told H that I was totally embarrassed for the way I acted when he was trying to leave last night. That I have come to my senses and I am finished being passive. And that I would not be so understanding a second time. We talked about other things and that we have not had a chance to be the way we were since he got back from Iraq. When he got back I was pregnant and we had so much to do to get ready for the baby. Then after we had him well that is self explanatory. Then he had to leave for 7 weeks and that is where this all started. We needed to give it a chance to get where it was.
I told him that I got something in the mail from our Family Readiness Group that had registration for the last Marriage Retreat for the military families. This is where they councel you on how to hold things together after you return from war. I told him that was a few weeks ago and I threw it away thinking we didn't need that. H said "maybe we do." I told him I would try to see if I could get us in. He said ok. I also asked him why he hadn't called the number his dad gave him that would get him some counceling. He said he didn't have time. I just left it at that. We made headway with the Marriage Retreat. Then we decided we would start there to get things back the way they were. To get the baby and go eat. Then we went driving. It almost seemed like old times. But I know it couldn't be back that quick. Also I forgot to mention that I talked to H about the baby too and how he acted. He said he has never been good with babies. He said that he loved him and just didn't know what to do when he cried. I understand it is a guy thing, but I think our relationship stress didn't help all that. After all I was probably understandably neglecting H b/c of baby. Anyway, I better go. Don't want H to walk in and me be telling this story and it make him think things are worse. So, I will write more as soon as I can. I will pick up with the conversations we had that same night while we were driving. We drove out of town close to where H's job was the night before. Anyway, I am outta here for a bit. Thanks again for keeping up. I should be finished w/in my next few posts. I apologize I know this is LONG. More soon.
