Cobra, You seem to be taking an issue in your marriage and trying to impose it on my own, though I've told you that it's simply not the case here.
My H does NOT (I repeat NOT) want the responsibility of being more involved with childrearing decisions. You are assuming that I do not involve him, which isn't true. I pull him into our lives and he thanks me for it all the time. I could list examples but I'm out of time. He feels as connected as he possibly can given that he's only home for about 3 hours of their waking time.
The 'attitude' I copped is a bit over the top, but that's not really how I am. I would absolutely hear him out if he had a concern. I have many times called him for advice because I was at my wits end and his advice is good. I don't have an air about me of "I am the mother and you are a paeon". When the kids wake up in the middle of the night, it is him they go to. They are extremely close to him and, like I said, he's a nurturing guy. I don't 'guard' my time with them or my R with them. We operate very much as a team, when it comes to our kids. The kids don't automatically run to me--most of the time, but not always. They don't see their dad as a bumbling outsider. Quite the contrary! If he had ever uttered anything close to what you are saying, I may think differently. As it is, he is overwhelmed by them and, if anything, claims that he needs time away from them and their demands. He has always felt that his place in life is at home with us. He loves it here and loves being with..first of all, his wife and second of all, his wife and kids. I make it a welcome place to be.
It just isn't our issue, Cobra.
However, I think the passive aggressive stuff is right on and yet I haven't been able to discover what he might be resentful over, and it's not for lack of analyzation, LOL.
Oh and his sleep...he's always been this way. He is hyper during the day, never slows down, but the moment nightfall hits he cannot stay awake. The only time I've seen him forego sleep is in the last month when I checked out of this M. Then he stayed up late and couldn't fall asleep at night. I've seen him fall asleep in the middle of a sentence, while reading a book (crash! it falls onto his face), you name it. However, he's never done this during the day so I don't know about narcolepsy. He has no apnea (that I can hear anyway) but does have restless legs syndrome. So his sleep is probably not enough hours as well as not refreshing. He gets about 7 hours each night.
