Quote: But it is very difficult to split the personality to be passive in one area and assertive in another.
Good point. I have had to tone myself down, over the years, cause what I was doing was NOT working. I think H will have to make a similar effort, although I will concede that it's probably much easier for an assertive person to tone themselves down than a passive person to ramp themselves up, kwim?
Quote: You know better than he, and while he may agree with your positions, he’d better not try to challenge them.
I don't care if he challenges them. I actually welcome the stimulation. He will probably lose, lol, cause as I've said this is my occupation and I don't take it lightly--I am educated and have read even more childraising books than I have R books. It's true, people! However, it's just not an issue with us. I don't criticize what he does with the kids and he's not biting his tongue. Here's an example: He buys almost all of our cars. There have been times when he comes home with a new car and I haven't seen it first, though I did of course know that he was going to buy one. I don't care about this. This would drive many people I know bananas. It works for us. He has no problems with me being the ultimate boss of the kids. It is a responsibility that he doesn't want--I can assure you of that. MrH is overwhelmed with the responsibilities he *does* have; he would not want another. He is the spiritual head of the household and he takes that seriously but he does not care to be involved in the decision-making process as it concerns them, for the most part. When he does want to throw his opinion out, I always listen and have many times tried his suggestions, with good results.
Quote: And you like having the control.
I don't know if I like having the control, so much as this is my job. I would never presume to tell him how to do his job, as I know very little about the details, and this is how I view our home setup. I know the kids better than he, simply because I spend more time with them. In addition to that, they are all girls so I have to sometimes clue him in. (WHY do they cry so much, W? Because they're chicks, H.) I do like having control (who doesn't?) but I'm not jealously holding on to this area and trying to exclude him, so don't project your own stuff onto me. That is not the 'vibe' here.
Quote: I wonder if in some way, he is afraid of you?
He is afraid of disappointing me. And yet he purposely sets up situations where he does just that. This baffles me!
