Cobra, Good gravy, so many questions. Where do I start.
1. He is the middle child of 5.
2. Introvert, who doesn't shout much but is not adverse to it, either. If the spirit moves him, he will let me have it. Not often though. I am animated but no longer a screamer (was in the early yrs of our 10 yr M).
3. Your assessment of me was accurate. I am assertive but NOT aggressive.
4. I am awesome with praise. I support him and he must have mentioned 10 times this weekend how he could not have made it thru 2005 (got fired from his job) without my constant love and devotion.
5. I am not critical of what he does with the kids. When he does something wrong, I will usually say it once and let it drop. Even then, we will usually make a joke of it. His parenting skills are not something I have problems with and I don't consider myself to be the Supreme Parent of them all, him included.
I found what you said about SAHM's to be interesting! Thank you for that perspective. My H is a very nurturing man and I have never feared leaving him alone with the kids, with the exception of a brief period of time early this summer. (job stress had him absolutely freakin out) He's a great dad. He contributes a lot to our nightly routine but still...there is a kernel of truth in there, somewhere, about what you wrote--about him feeling like I'm the center of the home. My opinions, wants and desires come first--yes, to ALL of that, except as it concerns the bedroom and church. Those are two areas he has chosen to assert himself in. He would say that this is the right thing to do...defer to me on matters of the kids...and I can't really argue with that. I AM the more intuitive parent and I have educated myself on childhood matters. He has not. All the same, this is not an area in which there is tension. He's perfectly happy to let me be the boss of the applesauce, and yet I don't lord it over him or make him feel inadequate. There are other areas in our lives in which he has the final say (finances, for instance) and it works in a similar way.
We actually get along quite well, from a practical standpoint, and have no big (or small) Getting Along issues, aside from intimacy.
