I don't know that he was sharing all that much. He says stuff like this all the time--as if joking about being unable or unwilling to share is a perfectly suitable stand-in for actually sharing.
I do need to hear him say how much he loves and desires me. It is not enough that he feels it. I want to hear it and know it. Call me needy, call me an addict, call me an idiot, but I gotta have it!
Today is going well.
I'm trying to forge a connection with him. Last night, I could literally feel the resentment boiling in me like a cauldron. I need to get rid of it before it eats me alive. I had not realized how much was there until then. At a very deep level, I am pissed off that I have spent the last 3 years trying to get our marriage back on track without a greater level of success than we currently have. I'm not necessarily mad at him as I am just mad at the situation and at having to accept a certain amount of failure. Hate that!
But, all the same, I have a great husband. Anyone have any ideas for "looking for the positive"? I mean, concrete things...reminders, ways to change my thinking..? He is doing positive things, I'm sure of it, but I get caught up in not only looking for how *I* think it should be packaged but also by listening to his baloney-talk about all the things he will do--in the future--or lamenting what he should have done in the past and all the while the minutes tick away on the clock and everything stays exactly the same.
If I could just tune him out, I think things'd be a lot better! He is making behavioral changes but still talks a lot of crud. Anybody relate to this?
Gotta run; D6 has a fever and it's back to being Nurse Mom for me!
