I have been doing some reading and posting recently on the MLC board and had a thought in reading this thread. I don’t know if it applies but I will throw it out as a new angle for your consideration.
Sometimes when men move into MLC, they are frustrated in their sex life and want more frequency, intensity, etc. Some can be obsessed with this to the point that it is actually an addiction, much like any other. What puzzles me is that the men feel the drive, so the chemicals are flowing, but that in turn seems to be controlled to some extent by the mental/emotional condition. I think that working on the addiction will ultimately lessen the drive, though not eliminate it, like with an alcoholic. Could there be such an issue at play here?
One other thought about resentment. I believe many MLCers strike out on their own in order to pursue a fantasy that has been brewing for years, in combination with escaping the obvious personality/relationship conflicts. But I also believe that after receiving a hard does of reality, they come to reevaluate those things that are important in their lives. I see this as closing the gap between their fantasy and the reality. Disappointment and resentment come from too large a gap between the two. Blame is usually placed on the reality (i.e., the other person) for not meeting your standards (the fantasy). But often those standards are unrealistically high and impossible for most people to attain. MLCers who return home come to realize this, tone down their expectations (along with changes by the spouse) to a more realistic level, and actually find more contentment. Could this scenario also be at play with you, only on a more diluted level?
GEL,
If your husband does not like to read anything, could he have ADD?
