I've had some thoughts about your problem with your H not reading SSM.
Here goes... FWIW...My H doesn't like to read...period. When he tries to read something he's interested in he can't read more than a page at a time before putting it down. Some people simply aren't readers....and for those of us who are, that can be frustrating. My H also hasn't even cracked the seal on the CD of SSM I bought him...thinking it would make things easier for him. Personally, I think if you photocopied portions of the book for your H in manageable portions...he still wouldn't read them.
For my H I think it was more of a "I don't need no stinkin book to tell me what I need to do!" type of resistance, with him I think he felt that if he had to read a book about how to have a R with me...it would mean he wasn't smart enough to figure it out on his own. It's the same mentality my mom had when my Dad asked her to see a C with him, in her own words (since she told me this herself) "I don't need anyone telling me how to live MY life!"
I think it's really important (and this wasn't easy for me at all!) for us as the "fixers" in our R's to let go of some things....and an expectation of someone reading a book that we found really helpful can be one of them. I've found that, for me, when I had this desire (if you want to call it that) for my H to read SSM...I went out of my way to buy the CD to make things easier on him and it came across as pressure to him, no matter how subtle I was about it.
For the longest time I couldn't help myself I really felt like "if you'd just read the damned book you'd get it!"...but the fact is, he got it eventually without reading the book and your H seems to be getting it too, isn't that really what's important?
I think for some of us the book and wanting our SO to read it becomes a symbol for the problems we've experienced. The book still sits there unopened and unread by the other person, so it remains a point of contention. "This is something I need you to do, I've asked you to do it, but you won't do it." Sorry, Michelle....but Honeypot get rid of the book...donate it to the library. Get it out of your house....stop looking at it. You've read it, you've gotten the benefit of it, you've used information in it that has benefitted your R....now finish with it and donate it to someone else who can use it.
Just my 2-cents again. FWIW, I'm going to give mine (and the CD) to a friend of mine who can use it, so I'm taking my own advice.
