I'm soooooo happy for you (yes, Snoopy dance again)!!!
It seems our H's are coming around at the same time Your H is making some BIG changes and I'm glad to hear that loving feeling is coming back. Don't be so hard on yourself for not disclosing those feelings yet to your H though...heck you don't trust they're going to stick around I'm sure. Right now...you do have some trust issues rearing their ugly heads...and time will likely take care of them.
I'm so glad he's actually doing some of the things you've wanted him to do for so long now too. With time, that lust for him will return as well. You're expecting too much too fast Honeypot....so don't let it freak you out. It's perfectly understandablen right now that you might not "lust" for him in particular with as much pain as you've experienced lately. You're feelings of love came back much quicker than I expected they would...the passion part won't be too far behind, but don't rush it....you've got feelings of trust attached to those feelings. Cut yourself some slack young lady! That's an order!!!
As far as the negatives go.... 1. He makes promises and then doesn't follow through on them, most notably sticking in my craw is his promise to read an R book and then refusing to do so.
Did I say you have trust issues enough times yet? Why is the book such an issue for you though? Isn't he doing many of the things you needed him to do now...if so, why do you still need him to read that book? He gets it Honeypot, don't force it down his throat.
2. I had scheduled endo appts for him and myself for yesterday but the insurance from his new job has turned out to be NON-insurance (there is a $5900 deductible which has to be met before any benefits kick in) and we cannot afford to be paying for doctor's appts out of pocket. That will have to wait until he has a better job, unfortunately. I may schedule the appt for myself, as my hair won't stop falling out, but no go for H. He wasn't all that crazy about going, anyway.
How is this a negative for him exactly...or for your R? I can see that the lack of insurance is an issue...and his job is tied to that, but how exactly is it an issue with him and your R?
3. My feelings of disinterest, sexually, are really bothering me.
As I've already mentioned...you are expecting too much too fast. Your feelings of love have just recently returned....the rest will follow. You impatient woman you!!! LOL
4. H's new company is starting the process of downsizing and firing people. He cannot believe that he escaped that atmosphere at his last job, only to be faced with it two months into the new one. This is doing weird things to his frame of mind.
Well that definitely does suck...I'd hate to be faced with that again. But keep him focused, if he feels he may be facing that again start looking now. He just might find something much better, that he'd like to do, and that has better insurance before your Endo appt
Honeypot...you two have made such progress. Relax for awhile and just simply enjoy what you two do have....you have come light-years from where you two were a year ago. Take some time to reflect. Yes, things got really bad there for you for a bit, but sometimes that's simply the point you MUST get to before things can really start improving.....actually that's something our C reinforced for us last night (I'm updating my thread today). Look at the changes that have happened just since you hit that rock bottom....it was what had to happen.
I'm soooooo happy for you two right now I can't stand it!!! If things have finally improved this much for the two of you now...try to take a look into this time next year, can you imagine where you will be then, because I'm pretty confident in saying....that passion will have returned for you long before then
