Then there's timing... H has to be somewhat open to these events. You can't force him to eat by candlelight if he insists turning the lights on.

NY, funny you should think of the candle lit dinner. As a matter of fact, I was planning that for this evening.

The candle light dinner fell apart, he asked me to turn the lights on

Maybe I should put up a 900 number and do psychic readings.

At about 1:30 in the morning his cell phone rang, we both were awaken and he answered it, I overhead a woman ask if this was **** and he answered yes, then she said you don't know me and then I could not hear anything more

I asked him about it the next morning and he said it was the wrong number

he said it came from a "private number" no caller ID. Well, that doesn't ring true with me because he knew the area code.

Obviously it wasn't a wrong number, as you overheard the caller asking your H if she had the right party and him confirming that she did.

But that also tells you it most probably was not the OW calling, but someone calling on her behalf. Perhaps there's a time difference between the states they all live in that accounted for the call coming in so late.

It would suggest he's not communicating with the OW, and she's trying to reach him. He does sound like he's not open to that.

You could have him change his phone number, but between you and me, if he wanted to stay in touch with the OW, he'd simply either give her the new number or maintain a secret cell phone or some such thing.

Yes, I agree, the biggest problem seems to be that he lied. He lied most probably so that you wouldn't get upset, but still, that's not what you need. So, yes, I'd say approach him about the need to be totally honest and open.

I would start a non-emotional, calm but firm, non-accusatory conversation along the lines of "Look hun, here's the thing. It's worse for me if you cover anything up, even with all good intentions, because then I'm left feeling wondering what's really going on. If, on the other hand, you're straight with me, then nothing that you tell me would be as bad as my going around feeling like that. I know the call the other night most likely couldn't have registered as a private number, otherwise you wouldn't have known the area code. So, please, we're working on rebuilding trust here... I promise I won't get angry. What was that call all about?"