I would like to present a different perspective. He doesn't want to talk about it cuz it is hurtful to both of you. While going through the DB process, I was able to find the things I did to contribute to the problems in our M. I worked hard to change those things about myself--the number one thing--insecurity. And trying to get validation and confirmation that I was ok from my H made him crazy.
I know the A was a symptom of the problems in our M. I have never asked him what caused it. I really think I know what caused it and I know he was looking for comfort and acceptance somewhere else.
We have been back together since June now. I really don't think much about it anymore. It happened, it's in the past and I don't have a need to go over it and I know he doesn't either. Gwyn, you've got to get inside yourself and know the reasons your M had problems and that your H tried to make himself feel better with an A. And that is probably pretty much it.
For me, it was better not to go over it. Just forget it and move on.
