he asked me if I was ready to come home? I just looked at him and said, well yes
I'm trying to put the pain behind me
If you're still dealing with these emotions that cause you pain, perhaps you're not as ready as you'd like to be.
Also, what work have you and H done together to better your relationship during this time? Have you found ways to re-work what was problematic in the relationship before the A?
Don't be in a hurry to return, you'll have a long time to be together once you do return. Take the time now to really build for that to become a reality.
