Catching up with your thread for the first time and think I will have to read the old one to find out what has been going on, but I would like to comment on the self esteem issue.
I would like to share with you how I have overcome this problem in the hopes that this could be something that works for you too. I hope I can explain this properly, because I am definitely not as eloquent as NYS.
If I had to describe the way I felt when I was low in self-esteem, I would say that I did and said the wrong things. Then I actually began to believe that what I say and do are different from WHO I am. And who I am, or my inner essence or soul, is a gift from God. God sent a perfect human being into this world, we may not have behaved perfectly and the world is definitely not perfect, but our soul remains pure.
Nowadays I try to think before I speak or act, or most importantly react, and assess whether this action is worthy of my soul, as my soul represents to me the absolutely best I can be.
I guess this is the same as the affirmation that " I am better than this" but when I was low in self esteem, I didn't really believe it and I wasn't able to convince myself this was the case. Now I can say " I may not be worth it, (because I have not behaved perfectly) but my soul definitely is.
Hope that makes some kind of sense.
I really empathise with what you are going through and there definitely seem to be some positive signs from your H - so good luck. But you do need to work on your own issues. I would suggest that you concentrate a little less on what H is thinking and a little more on what you are thinking and doing to bring about positive change in BOTH your lives. I would... but I am sure NYS has said it better already!
