I am going to highjack my own thread here for a moment. I have something I want to say to you. I just had to get in a place where I could with no interruptions.( Like that will happen around my house).
First off your wifes choice of song. It is not a song of ending or closure. It is a song of sorrow and confusion and remorse. Couple words like " it's funny how i feel so much yet cannot say a word we are screaming inside oh we can't be heard"
"so afraid to love you more afraid to lose clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose where once there was a darkness, a deep and endless night you gave me everything you had oh you gave me life"
With the fact your wife has been dragging her feet for months about filing for divorce. And you have a clear indication that your wife loves you. Regaurdless of where she is. And this love is not being overshadowed by anything other then her own fear and guilt.
I have read everybodys takes on what the meaning of her words. Let me go mean. Not that I need to state this to you as you know the womans mindset well. But I believe her let me go is not denial of her wrong doing. It is a desperate plea that says Fight for me and us. Don't let me go.
I really do not believe your wifes confusion is about you and the other man. I believe she creates her own by not excepting what she did and not knowing how to fix it.
x is unwilling to give me what she claims to want (and truth be said is showing with her actions)
Really what actions is that? Every thing you have posted indicate a woman who is desperately trying to hang on to something she wants. Just doing a piss poor job at it? At least on the visible front. So yes she is still in some form of a relationship with OM. Cannot be much of one though. And the reasons behind it I would believe there is a chance it could because she is scared and alone and it is more a safety net of support for her. Some people are desperately afraid of being alone.
Enough of her might be motives.
so I can move on with my conscience clear.
Really this little piece of paper is going to achieve that? Amazing I would have pegged you as a person who needs to to have a free soul and heart to move on.
Um I did how much clearer can I be than not ever contacting you for 5 months....
Now who has to much power and control. Thats the easy answer is it not? And it would be convincing if not for the fact that it is a form of detachment for the purpose of avoidence. Those words are that BF words.
HD do I have to show up? I have already wasted 9 years, I cant imaging wasting a whole days revenue for this.
Nice attempt of a cover up!
Its interesting to watch her attempts 'to get my goat' escalating.
What if she is not trying to get your goat what if she is trying to get your attention.
Have some dignity, show OM some respect, for that matter have some for yourself.
Okay in this case other man deserves no respect from either of you. And sometimes dignity is not as important as love.
Why the need for vindictive, vengeful, acts of seeming retribution?
Well there most be something more then you have posted for you to use these words. You have posted nothing that seems vindictive or vengeful. Or wait could that be a crack in BF'S exterior wall?
I expect next she will be cleaning out joint savings and my checking which has her name on it still since I placed it there before moving out of other state
Ahhh this was a give away. We all know the BF on this board would have been smarter then that. He would have opened a new account and just transferred all his funds to that account if he did not want that tie to remain intact.
I find this whole thing so sad and wasteful. Its been 17 months now. Think how much can be accomplished in that time when energy is put towards positive goals
Very true words.
"You do not truly know someone, untill you have fought them."
Or loved them. Sorry I found the placement of these words as being in a significant place in your post.
Well BF you know I agree with alot of your reasoning to end your relationshp. As to why you would have been no longer in a place you wanted to try to work on it. But I cannot get this thought out of my head. "We only have one shot at true love in our life" Most of us muck it up somehow or never achieve it. Then we spend the rest of our lifes reliving in the memories of the short time we were at that place. Or searching so hard for it that we don't see it when it is starring us right in our faces which allows us to never find it.
I know what your pride and ego and beliefs say. What does your soul and heart say. Do they feel what your words say? Pride can be put aside for short periods of time without losing it. A heart put aside is misplaced and even if relocated it does not function as well.
I don't advocate anything your wife has done BF There should only be two people in a marriage. But I am asking you to be sure before you move on. I would hate to see you in another relaionship of three ghost don't move around quitely for long.
Please feel free to tell me how wrong and off base I am. You might need to use more then words to do so though.
